Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Unturned Stones


My life as a student is almost over. My PG life seems to be drawing to a fast conclusion, just like my school and UG. Just when the end is near you get that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. You suddenly feel that you haven’t had enough. Not enough out of the three full years that have gone by. I could have and should have done a lot of things that I didn’t. I must have apologized to some people. I must have gone smoother on some instances. I should have enjoyed better. May be I should have had more lunches at the canteen. May be I should have visited the cooperative stores more often. I must have played more TT. The library could have done well with more visits from me. I once wanted to play roadrash in the lab. That work is still pending. I have gone to a hell a lot of theatres but still don’t know some theatres in Chennai. I have got to correct such trivial statistical blemishes. Must have done the project (Heptagon) that ended up just when it began. Could have got more marks in my later semesters. Must have arranged that industrial visit which never got beyond the planning stage. The RCC never got more than a couple of visits from me. Must have gone for the sub-juniors freshers party in my final year. Must have bunked more classes [;)].

A lot many dreams never grew beyond their cradles. Will I get another chance to right these misgivings? I think not. Playtime is over. From now on with no more handcuffs on there still will always be pressure on us to deliver. Just when it seems like we have completed a big phase of life successfully we come to realize that it is just the beginning of another even colossal phase. Life rolls on. It never stands by waiting for us to finish our daily chores. This eerie feeling of an impending premature conclusion is eating us alive. When I was at the end of my school life I had quite another set of pending to-do lists that were left pending. I then presumed I would have them done in my college days. Same was the case when my UG was drawing to its close. But now I have got the wherewithal to realize that you don’t get time for anything unless you make time for it. Time is a spectator. Not a team player. You got to get him play the game of life with you.

Now with just another semester remaining for project my mind refrains from allowing me to go elsewhere for that. I badly want to do it in the one place that is going to become memory very soon. I want to cherish these last few days. The last few days are the ones that spring to your memory when you think back about days gone past. I don’t want to go elsewhere and then repent my action later. With so much of my dreams still left over and so less time left to do them in, all I promise is one thing. I am gonna have one hell of a rousing last semester. I am going to leave no stone unturned now. I want to know what lies beneath each of them. Some far off day I don’t want to sit back and again say I could have done that. I am gonna to do it all. I am going to give one hell of an adieu.

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