Back Where I Began...

One friendly glance. An urgent blur. A momentous glimpse. That is all it took. I had been craning my neck on the windows of the train for this one look. And it was worth the wait.

I had seen the place where I had spent 14 years of my life. That place means more to me than any other one place. It looks much like the settee of any R K Narayan story. But only, water was so scarce in this Sarayu. In the hustle and bustle of the city, which changes by the hour, this place has stood the test of time and borne it well too. The temple remains as solid as ever. The scent from the nearby paddy fields still fill the air with fragrance. Here did I play my last cricket on the streets. There are kids now, doing what I had left behind. While I quench my thirst with mineral water bottles and instant coffee machines, people here are still enjoying clean drinking water. While I am applying for my credit card, this place still has a place for a 25 paise coin.

I always loved doing strange things. I had once saved seven rupees worth 5 paise coins (140 coins). Those were days I loved eating the 5 paise candies. I guess they dont sell them anymore. I had learnt cycling here and bruised my leg many a times. I had done 12 years of my schooling here in 2 different schools.

I have now learned through experience that the world stretches even beyond this village. That there are people beyond here who love me just as the people here used to. That there are so many other tinsel towns that match Malgudi even better. But back then I was just Susi. In the bigger world, I address myself Susindhar T Kandan. But I still miss my middle name. T for Tiruvalam.

Song : New York Nagaram Urnagumbodu...

Life

Meeting and parting are the ways of life.
If one phase is dark, the other will be bright.
In tears do we part,
With a heavy heart,
With the belief that sometime, someday
We will meet again.
The darkness of parting will then see light.


I believed it seven years back.
And I continue to believe it.

P. S. :
The 'Crossing the LoC' series will continue later.
Once I have a proper connection in my room.
For now, this ought to do.

Crossing the LoC - Part I

Realizing that I have less than a 100 hours left to start my new journey, into a new world makes me apprehensive. After some twenty plus years, I seem under-prepared for my new life. I know neither the 'tie to wear for a given shirt' or the 'place I want to work'. Come to think of it, I don't know any place I wouldn't want to work. I know that it is going to take me an eternity to cross this border and settle myself safely in the world that awaits me. Does it or do I? Looking back I have had a lot of memories to treasure. Sharing them all in words would consume a lot of time. As they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words". Ain't it? Bear with me if there are a lot of photos. But each of them are so special that a further editing was next to nil.


This is the first outing that I have a soft copy of. Among the so many incidents from my school life this trip to Ooty stands out as one of the best. I don't remember a lot of places that we visited. But I still have a lot of incidents locked up, many which I treasure. The fun I had with my English Mam and the room that I shared with
Hari and Kandu are fresh still.
(L to R) : Radha Sir, Kandu, Nagaraj Vinayagam, Sriram, Hari, Selva Kumar, myself, Junior, Sathyamoorthy Sir and Karthick.


The place I spent the least time in when I was at school. My twelfth standard classroom. I was everywhere but here. The playgrounds, the labs or the Principal's room. Everyone of these saw me more than this small classroom. Believe me when I say that the class was small. It had four benches and housed the eight of us. That was our strength then. But the small number is no indication of the fun that we had.








This room was our pavilion during the first semester at Anna University. Better known as No 7 Kottur, it was our restroom. If we got an hour break between classes, there would be a minimum of fifteen guys in this room. My calculation says that there are only three guys in my classroom who have not come to this room at some point of time or the other.
(L to R and T to B) : Jawahar, Murugappan, Mallu's friend, Mallu, Annbuvel and Antony.







Doesn't some bell ring somewhere? Three pranksters trying the famous Yuva pose.
(L to R) : Murugappan, Annbuvel and Jawahar.








The birthday bash that I missed out. This was Annbu's birthday and this was an event which wouldn't recur for the next four years. He was born on 29 Feb 1984 and this was 29 Feb 2004. I unfortunately missed out on this late night outing and collected these photos as souvenirs. Stats say that Annbu was just 5 old years now.
(L to R, T to B) : Karthic, Jegan, Mallu, Dharmesh, Annbu, Hariharan, Dayal and Ramesh Chander.


That was room 204 in the Science Block. My first semester classroom in Anna University. This was a very instrumental place of my life, where people around me recognized me for what I was. This was the first time I started to get into the limelight. Also not the best thing in another sense. Many got closer to me because I was intelligent. Something I wouldn't consider inviting. But then this portal called Anna University gave us another 5 semesters to get to know each other. Now I can safely say that these guys are my friends not because I outshone them then. But because we love each other.
(L to R, T to B) : Ilamaparithi, myself, Jawahar, Ramesh Chander and Murugappan.


Within a fifty feet from here is the crux of the University. The canteen in front of us, the gallery behind us, the ATM center to its left, the Bank to the further left. To the right come the Ramanujam Computing Center, The Central Library and the Sports Center. That succinctly gives a picture for any new-comer a picture of what the university is all about. This circle with a hundred meter radius always had some friend you could wave your hand to.
(T to B, L to R) : Amit, Saravanan, Ilamparithi, Murugappan and myself.


204 again. But in a more casual outlook. Just after a lecture.
Members : Viswanathan (Boss), Mallu, Ramesh Chander, Sudhakar, Kathir, Shanthi, Murugappan, Jawahar, Vikram, Amit and others.





The proper induction into the MCA curriculum. Freshers organized for us by our seniors. Indeed we were welcome here. Later on we were to organize many more functions like this one.
(L to R) : Saravana Raj Kumar, Pramod and myself.


After No. 7 Kottur this room was to become the hangout place for us. Though this room didn't remain so for long, it still was a place where I made many new friends and acquaintances that include Viswa, Vikram, Balu, Arun Prakash, Pappu,...
(L to R) : Vijay, Pappu and Krishna



Believe me when I say that we studied in our PG. This was what we did on the eve of our 'web graphics' end semester examination. Satisfied with the output we proceeded to give the exam our best shot.
(L to R) : Balasubramanian and Lara Dutta
Graphics Courtesy : Ramesh Chander



Taken on the eve of the "Anna University Silver Jubilee Valediction". Taken in front of the Vivekananda Auditorium.
(L to R, T to B) : Guruvasagam, Vijay, Sudhakar, Balu, Senthil, Viswa, Sebastin, Rangaraj, Shanmugam, Vivek and Krishna.



This room still in its most primitive stage, was to become one of my most frequently visited places over the next couple of years. The smallest room(size) in kottur was soon to house more than 14 occupants at times.
(L to R) : Sebastin, Krishna, Velmurugan, Sudhakar and Vijay.



If you are ready to make the attempt, you can catch up with time. Five years after we went our separate ways, four of us school guys managed to meet up in one place. Though we occasionally get to see each other, it is something quite different to have a planned reunion. This was an attempt. I still have a burning desire to somehow arrange another reunion where all eight of us can actually meet up.
(L to R) : Sriram, Hari, myself and Selva.



These three guys are one of a sort. They are a gang that ought to be so. More so because of the chemistry that they seem to share. They too were no exception to No. 7 Kottur. Resting after a tiring day.
(L to R) : Saamy, Jegan and Hariharan



Yet another Sunday at No. 7 Kottur. Me with HP6.
(T to B, L to R) : myself, vikram and mallu.











Time : 2130. This was soon to become a pattern. From now on night outings to theaters, beach, hotels and all other exotic places was to become routine. From now on we are to remain nocturnal more and more.
(L to R) : Shanu, myself and Karthic



A third of our life here was over. The farewell at Vijay Park Inn. During those days we were more interested in a get-together than in a farewell. Just outside the pathetic hotel.
(L to R) : Hariharan, Annbuvel, Jegan, myself, Mallu, Vikram and Viswa.



Ain't it nice. Posing with the vice chancellor of the university. On the eve of the "Anna University Silver Jubilee Valediction", we met up with the then VC Mr. Balaguruswamy. God how I wish for those days when we could wear anything that we liked to college.
(L to R) : Karthic, Balaguruswamy, myself, Vikram and Mallu.



This is a very pranky group. Be sure you are not near when these guys are on a high. Trying to imitate the then famous album "Vaalameenukkum Velangumeenukkum" from "Chittiram Pesudhadi".
(L to R) : Pappu, Ilamparithi, Prasanna and Balasubramnian.

Pen is mightier than a (Movie)

Seeing Da Vinci Code recently reaffirmed my belief that when you make a movie out of a novel, it decreases the beauty of the novel. Movies don't let your imagination fly as wild as a book. The poetic license that is accredited to writers are not available to a script maker. None of the books I have read have made a better movie. Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Harry Potter, Lord Of the Rings, Time To Kill, David Copperfield... The list goes on. But the fact remains. Even the Star Wars series where the book came after the movie is no exception to it.

Think of the Harry Potter for instance. When I read about dementors, I had my own scary creatures, to imagine about. Seeing them in the movie was like showing me a calculator and forcing me to believe that it is a super computer. Another would be the Star Wars, The Phantom Menace. The book says that Anakin Skywalker could feel every part of the pod he was driving as if it were part of his body. He could sense an engine failing even before it actually did and switch to alternate power. How could they ever picture it in a movie without a narrative.

I am by no means demeaning the work of the film makers. They have their own restrictions to fight. I appreciate the hollywood style of preparing a manuscript and then going on to shoot, unlike their tamil counterparts who deviate from their plan after the shooting. You can identify parts of the film where the lip movement does not match the voice. Bad planning. All I ask of the book writers is that they have some foresight. If they know that their book is going to be made a movie let them make it known. I will avoid such movies. But still I see those movies when I sit at home with nothing else to do. Can't avoid it though. May be in such cases, I will avoid reading those books. :)

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

I haven't posted anything in the last couple of months owing to my busy project schedule. Despite all this I recently came across someone claiming to have read the Harry Potter and the Deathly hallows. Searching the net I downloaded a pirated copy of it myself. The first ten pages confirmed my worst doubts. This was no JK Rowling stuff. Some fanatic geek has invested his time into this venture. It was too good to be her work. What I mean by this is the fact that this book contained everything that a fan would ask of the author and I know Rowling well enough to have other claims. She writes for kids and teens and not for grown-ups. If after july 21st it gets confirmed that this whole thing happens to be the true book - well I be damned. I am willing to pit my twenty year reading habit against it.

But the most important thing I am pointing out here is that, amidst my busy schedule I have been able to afford myself a day and a half of time to read 659 pages. Goes to prove again the time-proven fact. You never have time for anything in this world. you got to make time for them yourself.

P. S. : I know it was plain stupid of me to have read another 649 pages after knowing it was spoof. But that just shows how addicted I am to books. I miss them these days. Hopefully I get back to my old habit after leaving the university in a month's time.

Cricket Is Indeed Cathcing Up

Mozhi Review

I have learned from my recent projects the meaning of "you learn more from failing than from winning". But the primary ingredient essential in both winning and losing is the heart to transform your ideas into theories and then experimenting with them. Of what use is it if you have a load of ideas that you are never going to implement? To conduct these experiments more than anything else you need to have the courage to lose. For a long time Tamil directors(sans Mani Sir) always lacked this courage to experiment.

That was up until recently. After seeing 'Veyyil' and 'Mozhi' I realize that times are indeed changing. These two movies have shunned any traces of commercialism and have gone on prove that you can make your movie a big hit even with quality. A hero no longer needs to fight 20 people or even better there need be no villain at all. A musician falls in love with a girl who is both deaf and dumb who had never wanted to feel the impairment of her muteness to come in the way of her life.

What follows from there is very soothing melody. Very well told. This subject was one that could very easily have been spoilt. I would give equal credit to the direction and the screenplay. More important than that I think the producers who were ready to finance such new experiments. It takes immense courage from them to field in a pool of talents whom they believe in. New actors, music directors, directors and add to that an unproven domain. Welcome to the elite group gentlemen.

P.S. : Sorry for not revealing more of the movie or the story. I strongly feel that anything more than this would be to spoil the good works of the gentlemen involved in that. See the movie ASAP.

A very good performance by Jothika. Worthy of a best actress award.

Ed Wood Review

I saw this movie recently and was really awe-struck at how beautiful a script can be made when enough homework and hard work are behind it. I always had an aversion towards black and white movies. Only after recently seeing "Sin City" did I realize that you need to make them even in the twenty first century. This movie reveals the untold story of a film director Edward D Wood Jr. Released in 1994, this movie stands up in my mind as one of the best plays I have seen. Johnny Depp plays the part of the director Ed Wood. This movie travails through the ups and downs of the man who never lost his self belief through all the turmoils he had to face.

The movie starts out with a small narration that promises to tell us the truth behind Ed Wood and to judge the character based on those facts alone.The movie introduces Ed Wood acting in a small play in a theater. When the review in the papers next day call it a total fall-off, Ed is prompt in pointing out, that the same review claims the costumes of the soldiers close-to-perfection. That is Ed Wood for you.

When a production company puts out a story about a person, who is a man but who wants to turn a woman, Ed calls them and fixes an appointment. Seeing the producer, Ed explains that he is the best director in town for that sort of a story. Going on to explain that he indeed had been such a person, he says that he had always fancied wearing women's clothes and that he had been wearing his girl friend's dress unknown to her for long. This fact clinches the role for him. His girl friend on hearing this truth is aghast. Just before he begins to shoot, he meets an actor Bela Lugosi, well past his prime and believed dead in the current film industry. He befriends the man and makes him play a part for him in the movie. After the shooting the movie fails to hit the premier show in his city.

Unperturbed by this he embarks on another attempt and embarks on a science fiction this time. The movie travels through all the troubles he has to endure financially to get this film made. He even is foxed into giving the lead role to a girl who fools him that she will finance the movie. Axing his girl friend from the lead role increases the rift between them. This movie is an even bigger flop and his girl friend leaves him. But these failures just get him more closer to the aging legend Bela.

Bela now under drugs is slowly falling apart and dies soon after. A small footage that Ed had made of him becomes the inspiration of his next movie. He sells it off as Bella's last movie and gets a look alike of Bela to play the role(face covered). In the mean while he meets a new girl and gets married at the end of it.

The story ends here by pointing out that Ed Wood had been voted the worst director of all times. The story of a failure cannot be told more successfully than this one. Through his travails he gets to meet the great Orsen Welles himself(director of Citizen Kane). When Ed meets him he is all but given up having to make the movies as the producers want it rather than how he would like it. The great director says "Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?" That sums up the movie. As the movie ends we realize that failures are not failures at all if you are ready to look at them in the face. Hats off Johnny Depp. A must watch.

May the soul rest in peace...

Just moments ago I learnt that an old friend of mine (Sundararaghavan) had passed away. He had been my close accomplise in a lot of mischiefs from day one in my school. For six years we were as close as two friends could ever be. Whenever we stood in the ground, (be it prayers or playtimes) he would always be behind me. His roll number was the one before mine. Damn we copied every exam. Come class eleven we lost touch completely. I can remember having stood outside the classroom with him for not having finished homeworks. We have played together, lunched together and failed together.

Even after such a long gap I feel very bad hearing that news. Lord, May his soul rest in PEACE.

The Black Mind

This was an incident that happened a month or so ago. First forgive me. This post is sure to grow quite big. So if you don't have the time at your disposal you have the option of either going on to the next post or worse still you can click the next blog link at the top of this page.

I am not sure of the date. It was just after the release of a new Tamil film¹. My memory says that it must have been a Monday. I was particularly bored to hell. We had an unusually long holiday and many of my friends were away at their native places. With my zeroth review over just a week back, I had no mood to sit at my project so soon. I was raring to have an outing with my friends. When you want something to happen, it is the last thing that does. (Ref: Susi's corollary to Moore's law). Proving this the days seemed to drag along at an insanely slow crawling pace. Like every good thing has an end, the bad things have an end too. So the day at last came when enough of my friends returned from their natives. But there was this inevitable pleasure that was compelling me to stay home that day. A regional television channel² was telecasting one of the movies³ that I was so in liking with. So I had my plan chalked out. I was to see the much awaited movie that evening at home and start out on my adventures from the next day. The fact that I was more planned now and that I had a fun filled schedule ahead of me enthused me.

My corollary proved true again. I got a call from one of my friend asking me to join a group of other guys⁴ to go to another guys⁵ home. I was just a bit flustered. I had never gone to this guys place and knew not why at all I had to alter my well planned itinerary. But I learnt from them that this guy had had an operation to his nose (???) and that they were going there to enquire after his wellbeing. The reason seemed good enough to alter my plan a bit. So I gave in and joined them. Got a bus to my college and from there I tagged along with them. Also even if we went there I would still have enough time to come back in time for my movie³. So off we set, not knowing in advance what adventures lay in store for us. I had always believed that all my classmates stayed in Chennai. But then here we were traveling for almost an hour. What all we had to cross? Believe me when I say that the sight included flyovers, mud roads, patch roads, potholes, rivers, hills, cattle, green fields... I had almost seen the spot for the next Barathiraja film. Once we did reach there I reached for my cell phone to know that time. It was more than an hour since I had left home. More importantly, though there were so many things to look around, there was a more important thing that was lacking - my cell phone had no coverage. Happy to see that the guy was in fine shape, we decided to take leave after about twenty minutes. But now his hospitable mother had set about preparing something for us to eat⁶. Since she had already started we had to wait for some more time. But now my time schedule was looking more and more disrupt. When a snicker of a tower did appear, my sister called me to mock and inform that my much awaited film had started. Determined not to miss my film I started watching the film there itself. Once the food came we devoured it at our fastest pace and took leave.

Now things started getting more complex for me to handle. Here I was starting on my way back, sure to miss a large part of the film I had waited three days for. Convincing myself that life had taught me another lesson - Don't over expect anything - I started my journey back. But the fact of disrupting my schedule played heavily on my mind. Thinking of an alternate plan, I came up with the idea of going to the movie that was released just a day back with a few more of my pals. Now there are a few more facts that I have to ascertain. This movie was a Vijay movie. Consider the audience I had to share the day with. Murugappan is a die hard Vijay fan ready to take part in all the roars of the theatre. Then there was Jawahar who was a total Ajith fan and a no-Vijay man. But the Ajith movie released the day before was considered to be his worst of recent times. So he now wanted to see for himself what the other guy had to offer from a critical point of view. Then there Vijay (my friend, not the hero of the film) who like me had a select taste for movies. But both of us were now in a mood to watch a pure-blood commercial and were warming up to the theatre aura. There was Arun Prakash who had his own genre to watch. This was just the second film he was watching with me. I did not even know if he preferred this genre. There was boss⁷ who thought that a movie was good if it was fun. There was Vikram who had already seen the movie in Telugu and was there to weigh how this movie stood up when compared to the Telugu version. (The facts have been presented at last to my satisfaction). With such a wide mixed array of characters began our next phase. As each scene emerged Murugappan was at his roaring best with all the Vijay-fans in the theatre. Vikram was commenting on what a rip-off it was of the Telugu version. Jawahar was prompt in expressing his displeasure of the movie. Boss was having an enjoyable time with the movie. I was exchanging meaningful glances with Vijay to signify that this movie was just the thing we were in the mood to watch. Arun Prakash was most silent giving out no remarks. No appreciative smile. No frown. He was just taking in the things - as I was. When the movie got over it was around one in the night.

Irrespective of what others felt I think my feeling for not having stuck to my original plan was now lightened after the movie. Provided, what more could you do now? Now the next adventure began. There were eight of us on four bikes and I was with Jawahar on his bike. Vijay came out saying that how nice it would be if all four of us drove along at the same pace adjacent to each other. We all thought that it would be a good idea. The plan was executed properly for all of about ten seconds. That was all there was ever to it. After a couple of minutes and five kilometers ahead, ours was the last bike that was going and there was no sight of the others ahead. Also taking into account the fact that ours was the one bike that had the fastest pickup my chauffer thought this to be a great insult both to him and his bike. So he raised the throttle and the machine readily responded. From an average 30kph we rose to around 90kph. Within seconds we were cruising and had reached the third position. It took us may be another minute to catch with the next bike. Then there was a long pause. There was no first bike ahead of us. Feeling offended he raised the throttle in his urge to catch up. Another two minutes and we were there. Now that the three others were behind us and watching us he was ready to show that he was the leader of the band. We were now tearing the air at 120kph. Now for a fleeting second my mind pictured a scene. What would it look like if we were to lose our lead now due to some unforeseen factor? And the inevitable happened.

Another two minutes of pace and soon the Pulsar started first sputtering then shuddering and then abruptly came to a screeching halt. More concerned now we came to the side of the road, stopped the bike and unmounted. The bike was now behaving more like a non-pollution free motor vehicle. Streams of gas were emanating from the silencer and there was a pungent smell of some organic substance burning in the inside. Add to the salt some Potassium Permanganate (KMnO₄), concentrated Sulphuric Acid (H₂SO₄) and on heating releases a pungent smelling gas providing the confirmation test for Lead (Pb) ⁸. So that had to be it. The bike had taken in more than its share of lead from the petrol that it drunk everyday. As these thoughts were just running in my mind, I looked in the face of my rider and realized that he was even more worried now, than he was after the poor movie. He sensed that there had to be something seriously wrong with his machine. As I voiced my thoughts he face got even sterner. He was now beginning to get genuinely worried. By this time the other three pairs had caught up with us and were slowly beginning to take interest in the developments. But Boss who was more experienced with these sorts of troubles soon found out that the problem was quite simple. There was simply no fuel in the petrol tank to push the vehicle onward. The consternation on Jawahar's face lifted at this more simpler and plausible explanation. He promptly shook the vehicle and heard a faint rumble from the machine suggesting that the fuel was indeed there. Now things were getting more interesting. For the seven of us it was more than fun to watch the cruiser desperately scratching his head over his 150kg metal pile. Now was our turn to torment him. Perplexed though he was, his mind was now reeling in all directions looking for some feasible solutions. Each of his suggestions were looking more and more weirder to our more calm and sane minds. It was two in the morning. We were stranded - eight of us - five kilometers from the Chennai Airport and one kilometer from the main Kathipara junction. There was no soul we could ask help to. Forget about a mechanic. The following were a few of the feasible - though impractical - solutions that were suggested.

"There were a number of buses plying to Koyambedu. Can't we just put our bike in one of them?" - Good one. But Koyambedu was far from our destination than where we were. Besides who is going to lift a 150kg machine atop the bus?

"Why can't we just put the bike in an auto and take it home?" - Better. But where can we search for an auto, at this time, on a national highway?

"Why can’t we just leave the bike here and come back with a mechanic tomorrow?" - Even better. But who is to assure us that it would remain there through the night?

"What about pushing the whole thing for the next six kilometers until we reached home?" - More Practical. But who amongst the eight of us was going to push it? Not Me.

Then came the idea of towing the vehicle. - At last practical. But none of us had towed a vehicle before and besides we absolutely HAD to toe it with two guys on it. Not possible.

While all these theories were being discussed and as each one of these solutions were discarded, we realized that we had been stranded to the spot for more than half an hour and reached no solution. Just when we were getting more desperate things got worse. In the distance we spotted a white car with red lights atop it. This was the last thing that we wanted. There was a cop vehicle coming along at a steady pace. Seven of us wanted to be in some other place, at least ten kilometers from there. Along came the car and stopped beside us. We told the cop the truth and surprisingly he accepted it without receiving a penny from us. Just to confirm things he asked if all was well and if there was any petrol problem. After checking once again we told him that such was not the case and he proceeded with a frown [No penny :( ]. Now that the worst was past, we settled to do the one thing that we had done till now, but more decidedly. We decided to wait until the silencer cooled down completely. With a frown and seven other knowing smiles, we settled for a long wait. As time passed to another fifteen minutes, we thought that it has cooled as cool it is going to get. Now he tried to gun the machine again. There were sputters. Nothing more. Not a hint of life in the machine. It was now irrevocably dead. Only after all this time did it strike us that a bike would behave in this exact way in case of an engine cease too. The moment this word was uttered, Jawahar came to his wits end. His face was now shifting rapidly to an unscrutinizable blankness. What was going behind that head of his now? Fear? He was more concerned now than ever before. If it was indeed an engine cease there was nothing that we could do. Almost every one of us tried kicking the poor kicker in a faint hope that someone among us possessed that coveted golden boot among footballers. None of us seemed to have anything beyond a slipper and a fiercely aggravating groin.

Boss said now that there was only one last choice that he had to offer from his experience. There is a very unlikely chance that something may have stuck up the petrol tube. He suggested plugging out the petrol tube and allowing the petrol to flow for quite some time and then trying to inject life into the now zombie machine. As he plugged the petrol tube out and opened the valve we knew what exactly was wrong.

The valve was giving out what exactly comes out of a metro-water tap. Pure gas. I don't mean gasoline. Clean pure air. There was not a drop of petrol. Was the block that bad? Opening the petrol tank for the first time confirmed it. There absolutely was no petrol in it to spur it onward. Smiles everywhere. Picking up an empty water bottle (which is in plenty on Chennai roadsides) we transferred some petrol from another bike and she came to life like an angel. The trouble was now over. We resumed the journey now at last after an hour and a half but now more sedately at a 30kph and believe me we were the last to reach back.

PS:

Karunakku – Black Tongue
Karumoolai – Black Mind

1 : Pokkiri
2 : Sun TV
3 : Pattiyal
4 : Murugappan, Jawahar and Vikram
5 : Saravanan S(200434133)
6 : Upma
7 : A classmate of mine – Visawnathan actually
8 : Purely a figment of my imagination. I pray that my past Chemistry staffs would bear with me.

Heights Of Animation

Susi Does It Again

So with all the concoctions I could create, I managed to escape from the tight spot once again. Somehow managed to arrange for a dead grandpa who was already dead for the past three years. So my guide was sorry for my grandad and also satisfied with my progress ;).But I feel very bad at having to do projects this way. Why should I always mess up things that I can do very well? Three months of hardwork and I know I can manage something that even I will be proud of having done. Most of the projects that I have done to date have been considered worthy of me by many of my peers though I know that I could have put up a far better show had I been more honest to myself. What is it with me? Why should I waste my talents like this and then play a farce with the evaluating panel when I can very easily be telling them things from my heart rather than from my brain? With this shit of a mouth that I got I have made many believe that I am indeed a very intelligent guy. People think that I can always handle projects well even if I don't get my marks. There are guys here who want to be in my team(Karthic, Vijay, Mallu,...). But I know I havent done justice to the belief they have in me though I can. This time though I am not going to let down anybody. If someone is going to be disappointed after this project, it has to be me alone. Enough of lameting I guess. Retrospection is not a healthy option now. HARDWORK is the only thing that can let me feel like myself.

The first review is on the 29th and I am a bit ready for it. That's just the point. I can be prepared even without really working. Not just my friends even my staff believe that my projects are worthy enough of passing their close scrutiny without even scrutinising fully. May be someone should find more faults with me. I am not eligible to get the accolades that I do get. May be if they do get more strict in my case, I will start to work better and my throughput may increase.

So I have written another paragraph about me again? Why does it always have to be ME, ME and ME? Why don't I write something about someone else? There are a lot of nice guys around me. Why don't I write about them? There are a lot of nice things happening around me. Why don't I write anything about them? Why must it always be the ME? May be I am so self-centerd in my thinking. Everybody is. You open a blog to write about you only. But atleast I could have reserved some space for my friends. OK. Here I go.

Vijay is one guy I feel sorry for having missed out on his IBM project. Sad thing to happen so late. But he took it sportively and is now slogging his ass out for an internal project. From another side I think it is better he does a project in the university than at IBM. I think IBM was not utilising him as they could or should. Though he feels that the project given to him was challenging, I firmly believed and still do that it was not worthy of his capabilities.

Another thing I would like to mention. There are a lot of fellows here who are hooked up with a project that is not worthy enough to be done by a student of this cadre. The panel members are looking for some project that has an IEEE base. But these guys argue and say that they ought not to be doing soooooo complex projects. But what then is a project for them? We have had enough of 'hello world' programs already for every semester. Are they thinking of implementing a web service which does nothing and submitting it? Or generating a error report tool for that matter. I am totally with the panel as regards this problem. Let us do something worthwhile for a change.

I am Running Out Of Reasons

Six months after my first post, I am justifying what I said there. I am one hell of a lazy ass. I don't have concrete reasons to attribute to this though. I know I can finish some things in a span of a few hours but my laziness drives me crazy. The thing that actually prompted me to start this post is the fact that I haven't met my project guide in the past 21 days. After my zeroth review she had given me some work and had wanted me to meet her after a couple of days. The work she had given was very small which I promptly failed to finish in the time provided. Later when it was really getting delayed, I made this fabulous awesome resolution to myself. This was my plan. Instead of going and meeting her now and saying that I haven't progressed any further, I will take may be another couple of days and show her something worth the time span. Please do keep in mind that I am indeed a fast worker -- At least a lot faster than a lot of guys around me. Now two days later, the situation was slightly different. I have now done more work than she had demanded yet the work couldn't be justified for four days. So then I thought I would push the deadline by another two days. And now the count stands at 21 days. A week back I had mailed her that due to the sudden demise of a close relative I couldn't meet her and that I would meet her the following Tuesday(I think I missed the word 'following' in the mail and may even justify it to be the next Tuesday). Another week has passed since. Now the work I have done can very easily be justified for ten days work. But twenty days have gone since then. How the hell am I going to face her now? What more reasons? By now even she should know what a lazy ass I am. I need to pacify things very soon. But how? I will have to call and give some other lame excuse at the very least. God knows what the F*** I am going to do. (There is a small rumor abuzz that the first review may be on the 22nd of this month).

Still got something to smile for.

Tidbit for the day

Turing Test
The Turing test is a proposal for a test of a machine's capability to perform human-like conversation. Described by Professor Alan Turing in the 1950 paper "Computing machinery and intelligence," it proceeds as follows: a human judge engages in a natural language conversation with two other parties, one a human and the other a machine; if the judge cannot reliably tell which is which, then the machine is said to pass the test. It is assumed that both the human and the machine try to appear human. In order to keep the test setting simple and universal (to explicitly test the linguistic capability of the machine instead of its ability to render words into audio), the conversation is usually limited to a text-only channel such as a teletype machine as Turing suggested or, more recently IRC or instant messaging.

Somebody Recognizes My Hardwork

My watch says it is 6.30 in the morning. I am just back from the tea shop.

The tea master said:

"Don't you sleep at all. I saw you at three in the morning walking all alone and now you are back to the shop at six."

So the project must be coming good after all. Will have to wait another three months to see if his words bear any truth at all. :)

A Few Google Misconceptions

1. Google Desktop indexes your files and uploads the index to Google servers.
Not until you ask google to do so. Google stores index on your own computer and will send them to the google server securely only when you enable search across computer.


2. Gmail indexes your emails and makes them available for everyone.
No, Google indexes your mails so that you can search them just like other email services (yahoo, rediff etc.)


3. Google doesn't delete my Gmail messages.
For safe storage google makes multiple backups of your emails.
"You may organize or delete your messages through your Gmail account. Residual copies of deleted messages and accounts may take up to 60 days to be deleted from our active servers and may remain in our offline backup systems." (Gmail Privacy Policy)


4. Google doesn't improve search anymore to increase its earnings from ads.
You may not see it in short time periods but google does tweak its algorithms to improve search results.


5. Search results should be ranked by people, not by algorithms.
Ask yourself, will you rank every google search result? I won't.


6. Google is spyware.
Spyware is "any software that covertly gathers user information through the user's Internet connection without his or her knowledge, usually for advertising purposes. Spyware applications are typically bundled as a hidden component of freeware or shareware programs that can be downloaded from the Internet. Once installed, the spyware monitors user activity on the Internet and transmits that information in the background to someone else. ..."Softwares like google toolbar and google desktop do send information to google servers for personalized working of the software for your computing environment. Google does protect this information from third party but still the problem lies in what does google do with this information.


7. Google Earth shows real-time images.
No, what you see "are photographs taken by satellites and aircraft sometime in the last three years".


8. Google is the best search engine that will ever be built.
Google's goal is to be the best, and it has achieved that to some extent. Still the market is big and competition is tough.


9. Google favors Wikipedia, Technorati, blogs.
No, the simple answer is that such sites have many backlinks to them.


10. Google will take over the world.
My wishes to them.